TONIGHT'S MENU BURTON Good thing I got to him before he got any hairier.  As it is, I had to pick at least a hundred split ends from my choppers.  Some nice meat though... tender and well fed.  Didn't even need that rum chaser, but I took advantage of it anyway.

WEEK 4 - THROWING THE POOR MORGAN A BONE

Okay, Okay... I know I'm late in updating the page.  My filthy assistant already read me the riot act.  But I have a good excuse!  I was just laying there, sunning myself in the surf, waiting for the latest howler monkey report, when I saw my strange friend once again...  he fed me some fine rum and we drank into the night.  As the moon rose, he began telling me tales of authorities in the area.  Though this dingo has kept his nose clean for a good two years now, paranoia took over and I ended up helping my friend steal a ship for a hasty escape.

Two days later, when the rum had worn off and I realized my friend was COMPLETELY INSANE, I came to my senses.  Luckily a small schooner came by while my friend was passed out and I jumped ship and made it back safely.  I think it's time to cut back on the rum a little...  AH!  Who am I kidding!

So, back to the show!  Drake ended their six challenge winning streak and FINALLY visits tribal council... and they looked happy to be there!  They should, since they threw the immunity challenge and all.  I mean, come ON people!  They weren't even TRYING!!!!  Personally, I don't know what they were thinking, but who am I to criticize? Good choice on Morgan's part in taking Rupert though.  Seems that tribe may just may have a brain to share between them after all.

THE DINGO DEDUCES

	BURTON -  He wanted to be the leader, but Rupert was just too much to handle.  Never make fun of a man and his skirt.
	CHRISTA - It was a close call for the cutie, but seems she's aligned with the right people.  You go Christa!  But do us all a favor and try not to talk too much.  That voice of yours.... <<shudder>>  Do you have some sort of sinus problem you're not telling us about?
	JON - When is Drake going to wake up and hear the whining?  Johnny Fairplay....  WHATEVER!  Johnny Stupidplay is more like it!!  A little advise, Johnny.  Keep your head down, and keep that trap of yours SHUT!
	MICHELLE - The cute girl hooks up with the cute guys for protection... How obvious... too bad it's going to come back to kick her in the ass!  Well, at least she found the treasure, so I guess she's not TOTALLY useless.
	RUPERT - They will rue the day they didn't listen to the almighty Rupert!  You mark my words!  RUE!  RUE I TELL YOU!!!!  On the bright side, he got a new skirt!  And a snazzy one at that!
	SANDRA - Don't complain about the rice, honey.  It's keeping you alive.
	SHAWN - Hooked up with the wrong guy, didn't you, big boy?  That will teach you to make fun of a better man's skirt.  Your days are numbered.  Let's just hope you can make it to the merger and hook up with Andrew.
	TRISH - Well, you finally found your treasure, sweetie.  Happy now?!?!?!?!  And such a little wimp when she pillaged the other tribe.  TAKE THEIR LAST WATER POT, WOMAN!  CRIPPLE THEM!!! And you call yourself a pirate!

ANDREW -  Talk, talk, talk....  Isn't a leader supposed to LEAD?  And taking on the smallest girl in the immunity challenge.  You call yourself a man?  Anything to look good in front of a losing tribe, huh?
DARRAH - Honestly, I just wish she would shut up!  I don't know how many more weeks I can take that voice of hers!  I'm not one to diss an accent, but I am a stickler for enunciation.
OSTEN - Osten, my dear boy... here's a tip... STAY AWAY FROM THE WATER!!!!!!  You've gotten into nothing but trouble this entire time when you've gotten in the water.  OSTEN UNDIE WATCH:  I think I saw him salivating over the sewing machine reward.  His undies MIGHT have one more week...
RYAN O - Ryan and Andrew, sitting in a tree...  "Going fishing"  Hurmph.  SUUUUUUUURE you were!
TIJUANA - WOO HOO!  We got to see a little boobage from our local welcome wagon!  And a little booty too!  Next time, save us the trouble, hon... just go in the water nekkid.

	WEEK 1:  A bit bitter.  Definitely grisly.  Luckily she wasn't there long enough to get too sinewy.  But don't think I didn't take advantage of that whole "massage therapist" thing before I sucked the marrow from her very bones!!  (that was my attempt at pirate talk... how did I do?)
	WEEK 2: THANK GOD I GOT HIM EARLY!  If that boy lost one more pound, I'd have nothing but a pile of toothpicks to gnaw on.  As it was, there was very little flavor and I had to douse him in some cheap Panamanian steak sauce just to choke him down.
	WEEK 3: NO MORE SCOUT TALK!  WOO HOO!!!  She had a decent amount of meat on her, and a nice fat layer for flavoring, but she was a bit too sweet for my tastes.  Nothing a little lime and a lot of rum couldn't cure though.

NEXT WEEK:  DRAKE LOSES IT

PAST EPISODES:
The Dingo is Back!
Get to know the Contestants!
Week 1:  Hanging in the Wind
Week 2:  Kissing the Spear
Week 3:  Morgan Who?

For those of you who have been unfortunate enough to miss the past exploits of the Dingo, let me explain how things work...  Every Thursday at 8pm EST on CBS, filthy humans run around, making fools of themselves, as they compete for $1 million US dollars.  Each week they are voted off in a silly ceremony tritely called "Tribal Council."  As the loser of the group relinquishes his torch, he makes his way over a rickety bridge into the lonely darkness beyond.  That's when I pounce on his scrawny ass and begin feasting.  Each week I will provide you with a complete critique of the quality of the meat provided as well as some recipe suggestions right here on this lovely website.  I may be a dingo, but I'm a 21st Century Dingo with a filthy human assistant.

And though I may be practically perfect in every way, I'm always anxious to hear from my devoted followers.  Questions, comments, and general adulation may be sent to me at durangothederangeddingo@hotmail.com.

Or, you can leave a message at the Dingo's Den interactive message board. 

Don't forget to watch Survivor every Thursday on CBS!

Want to add a link?  Contact the dingo's FILTHY HUMAN ASSISTANT

This is a private, unofficial, "Survivor" fan page.  There is no association with CBS, its affiliates, or company holdings.  Views and claims held here are from my own fractured mind and in no way reflect or represent the views and/or claims of CBS, its affiliates, or company holdings.  If you have a problem with what you see, do us all a favor and look up "humor," "satire," or "sarcasm" in the dictionary, conveniently located at a bookstore near you.