WEEK 2 - SINKING SHIPS

Day four and nary a fire in sight.  Despite being Survivor veterans, not one castaway was able to get fire the old fashioned way.  Then comes the reward challenge.  At stake is either a bunch of blankets for the winning tribe or a pot, a clue to find the first of three keys that will open a box full of rice, and most importantly... a flint for all the tribes..  Saboga won handedly.  In a show of cross tribal solidarity, Saboga gives the flint, pot, and clue to all, but then they go on to lose immunity.  So much for generosity.

But may we take a moment to recognize that in all the years this dingo has been making predictions, I finally got one right!  Poor, poor Rudy....
 

THE DINGO DEDUCES

Well in last week's poll, you guys were pretty much unanimous when it came to seeing Richard's big white ass again...  I think it's a given we will be graced with that sight each and every week from here on out...

WILL RICHARD GET NAKED IN THIS WEEK'S EPISODE:

This week's poll:

	ALICIA (Survivor 2: Outback): She may have a big mouth but she knew how to make the damn fire, now didn't she?  So you big boys can just keep your little attitudes to yourself, 'kay?
	AMBER (Survivor 2: Outback): Something tells me she was responsible for the sing-along.  Can we shoot her now?
	ROB C (Survivor 6: Amazon): Gotta be the big man do ya... If Alicia can make a fire, let her make the damn fire!  Put your testosterone in your back pocket.
	ROB M (Survivor 4: Marquesas): SMASH IT OPEN???? SMASH IT OPEN???  You've been here before, idiot.  You don't break the damn rules.  Though I have to admit...   "Pretty Boy Probst" ... that was nice.  Jeff appreciated it.
	SUE (Survivor 1: Pulau Tiga): Held in there like one of the guys on the reward challenge.
	TOM (Survivor 3: Africa): Showing your strength in the immunity challenge.  That's where to do it.  However, I have to admit... I'm thinking about bribing the howler monkeys to drop a feather in that camp just so he can stick it up his ass again...  One can never get enough of the feather up the ass shtick.

ETHAN (Survivor 3: Africa): He knew he was a target.  Lucky for him, Rudy wasn't up to snuff.  He needs to get himself an alliance and right soon!  By the way, is stratigical even a word?
JENNA L (Survivor 1: Palau Tiga): Sweetie... Honey... Darlin'...  I know you're bitter about not winning last time, but don't you think you're over compensating a tad bit?  You have got to keep your mouth shut before they notice how STUPID you are!  And for the record, when you philosophize, you confuse me.
JERRI (Survivor 2: Outback): JERRI!!!  WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?  You're being awfully quiet....  You're just saving up for the big outburst, right?  Right?
RUDY (Survivor 1: Palau Tiga): You're one tough cookie, aren't you?  But your age is showing -  couldn't even make it through the first leg of the reward challenge.  Limping around.  When your tribemates have to tell you to take it easy, it's not a good sign.  It was a tough challenge, but you gave it your all, you old sea dog.  We salute you.
RUPERT (Survivor 7: Pearl Islands): HE'S BACK!  He was looking a little tired last time around, but made up for it tonight.  Our fisherman is back!  And he's kissing the inanimate objects again.  Of course, he's also falling back on past mistakes... Sticking with the alliance with Rudy...  Dude!  We all loved him, but he was the weak link.  You HAVE to look out for Number One if you want to win this thing!

	COLBY (Survivor 2: Outback): Is Colby actually getting turned on by Richard's "in the buff" attitude?  Methinks he doth protest too much.
	JENNA M (Survivor 6: Amazon): What's in the box?  What's in the box?
	KATHY (Survivor 4: Marquesas): Don't be blaming the boys for not making fire.  Pick up the damn flint, girl!   Do it yourself!  Ultimate Sole Survivor, my ass!
	LEX (Survivor 3: Africa): He's a "roll with it" kinda guy... until he starts losing.  I'm sure Richard's nudity and attitude won't be nearly as amusing when YOUR head is on the chopping block!
	RICHARD (Survivor 1: Palau Tiga): So you're finally figuring out there are big targets on winners.  Bully for you.  Well at least you found the key, even though you weren't too thrilled about it.  I understand it's all about the psychology, but, hon, you gotta play the players!
	SHII ANN (Survivor 5: Thailand): Yeah, baby.  Keep sucking on that leaf.  Suck it baby.  Suck it!

THE BUFFET

WEEK 1:  TINA (Outback) Never got to taste this one before.  Who'da thunk a previous winner would have gone first?  Well, YOU apparently!  Tina won my weekly poll by a whopping 21%. As expected, she was saccharine sweet.  Normally, I like my desert a little later in the night, but who am I to argue?  Not being one to ignore a moment of celebration, I doused the first feast in a marinade of rum and I shared a nice flambé with the howler monkeys.

SURVIVOR ALL-STARS FUN FACTS

- Past winners appearing on Survivor All-Stars were from Survivor 1, 2, 3, and 6.
- Chapera was the only tribe not to include a past winner as a member.

PAST EPISODES:
SURVIVOR ALL-STARS - MEET THE CONTESTANTS
WEEK 1 - REUNION

For those of you who have been unfortunate enough to miss the past exploits of the Dingo, let me explain how things work...  Every Thursday at 8pm EST on CBS, filthy humans run around, making fools of themselves, as they compete for $1 million US dollars.  Each week they are voted off in a silly ceremony tritely called "Tribal Council."  As the loser of the group relinquishes his torch, he makes his way over a rickety bridge into the lonely darkness beyond.  That's when I pounce on his scrawny ass and begin feasting.  Each week I will provide you with a complete critique of the quality of the meat provided as well as some recipe suggestions right here on this lovely website.  I may be a dingo, but I'm a 21st Century Dingo with a filthy human assistant.

And though I may be practically perfect in every way, I'm always anxious to hear from my devoted followers.  Questions, comments, and general adulation may be sent to me at durangothederangeddingo@hotmail.com.

Or, you can leave a message at the Dingo's Den interactive message board. 

Don't forget to watch Survivor every Thursday on CBS!

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